Christmas Gift List

[Jeff Westover]

Hi all,

We have been approached about integrating a gift list script into our site. I've looked into it and I'm uncertain. I'm wondering if I could get some feedback about it.

What is proposed is a place where folks can register like they would for a wedding or a baby shower...only this is done for Christmas. A person registers here and lists what they want from a variety of merchants who in turn offer discounts to online buyers.

Is this kind of thing of interest?

One of the elements that bothers me, frankly, is the commercial tie-in. I've always wanted to do something along the lines of a gift list but without any kind of tie in. It would merely be a place where folks could list what they want and then members of a family or whoever has the link can mark off what they got...anonymously.

There are a few Christmas wishlist websites out there. What do you think? Is this something that would have value at all?

Jeff

[elfworks]

personally, i think the idea is horrible. but then again, i think giving someone a list of things you want them to gift you is beyond horrible. i mean... i have NEVER EVER understood that whole thing! if i am going to get a gift from you i want it to be something that you have thought about and said to yourself... lisa would love this! what is the point of a gift if the getter is the picker-outer?? ok i have to walk away from the computer as i am getting frustrated with not being able to scream on this subject.

this is a subject that just makes me crazy and gets my blood boiling (a very unpleasant thing for a girl having hot flashes.....)

xo

[Jeff Westover]

Ok, Elfworks...stop sugar coating it and tell me how you feel...

Excellent feedback.

[elfworks]

it is a subject that i feel quite passionately about! and now...10 hours later, i am still wanting to rant about it a bit!
anyone wishing to hear my uncensoed views on the subject need only pm and i will send my phone number!

(and this opinion is not limited to just xmas. birthdays too!)



must walk away...

[sheepsnot]

OK, Jeff, maybe we shouldn't bring up women's rights, either. 8) I'll write more tomorrow, but I fall in line with Elfworks, minus hot flashes. :grin:

[elfworks]

why more tomorrow? why not tonight.


xo

[sheepsnot]

It's bedtime and I'm trying to read a history of Lebanese-Israeli relations. Gripping reading. I finished Pogo, by the way.

[elfworks]

yeah for the pogo!

kudos for hitting the other subject. youre a stronger man than i am!

xo

[sheepsnot]

Believing that there are no real rights nor wrongs on the subject of gift giving, apart from a few biblical principles, let me first say that this rant and/or rave is purely my opinion. My lovely wife tells me what to get her for every occasion, and there seems to be a boatload of occasions for receiving gifts (Valentines Day, birthdays, Mothers' Day, anniversaries, Tuesdays, etc.) :wink: She also expects me to tell her what I want. In my opinion, the joy of receiving gifts is in the fact that often they are unexpected. I tell her often that you can't orchestrate spontaneity. The joy is in the fact that you thought of me. The gift doesn't have to be anything much at all. My favorite Valentines card was the one she hand wrote because we were dead broke. If I have to tell you what I want, there's no anticipation, no surprise, no real joy. When I graduated high school my girlfriend's parents gave me a wallet. It was probably a hint that I needed to start earning money if I ever hoped to keep their daughter, but I was touched nonetheless because I wasn't expecting it. I actually cried. (Guys on the football team weren't supposed to do that!) Another aspect of this is the lack of joy I have in merely filling an order, rather than finding something that means something both to her and to me. I like to sit there and watch her open a gift that I have picked out. There's fear, it is true, because it could be a flop, but I have learned not to shop in the self-help section anymore. Now, just to be fair, my wife believes that buying something you know the recipient wants is the most thoughful way to shop. To me, that lacks a certain creative element that makes gift giving fun for everyone involved.

[sheepsnot]

Sorry, Jeff, I just remembered that you were wanting a question answered. As there are sites out there doing this already and as there is usually only one person from any family getting on this site, I would be surprised if it really took off. You have a pretty full plate as it is, moreso than any one of us can imagine. I would pass on this idea. (Did I say that right, Elfworks?)

[RadioJonD]

Although the online discount sounds interesting, I'm not much for the commercial tie in either. I probably wouldn't post a list with or without the tie-in.

[Jeff Westover]

You're purists, one and all.

I've been toying with this kind of feature for what seems like forever. But I cannot for the life of me find real value in the idea.

I do see where something like this could be of benefit for families and friends who are separated by distance and cannot trust traditional methods of communication - even email -- in keeping gift giving secrets. But that would require universal Internet access within families and who really has that? I know that there are many in my family who do not or merely lack the interest or the skills to use a computer in this way.

[elfworks]

Another aspect of this is the lack of joy I have in merely filling an order, rather than finding something that means something both to her and to me. I like to sit there and watch her open a gift that I have picked out. There's fear, it is true, because it could be a flop

see! now youre my hero, mr s! to me, there is some major joy in shopping for gifts for people i love (or even just barely know) i do it all year. and i will tell yall something.. when you are at the mall in the middle of shopping craziness, it makes the whole thing actually pleasant if you LIKE what youre doing. i love the process of shpping and seeing something and saying to myself... oh wow! so and so would just love that!!! or being at home making out my who i want to get a gift for list and suddenly having the most brilliant idea about a gift for them.

as i mentioned b4, i sometimes do themes for my mama. we both love murder mysteries and i had recently discovered a new author. her theme that year was "mystery" and i got her a trench coat (i knew that she needed a new winter coat cuz i called her secretary and talked to her) some of the books by the new author, a very cool magnifying glass (a la sherlock which took me about 4 months to find) and looking for that glass whas FUN!

and on the flip side... no such thing as a bad present. if someone has given me a gift, THAT IS ALWAYS A GOOD THING, regardless of what is under the wrapping.

and as for the fear factor sheepy mentioned.... that's anticipation. AND I LOVE IT!!

i think i am rambling, so... adieu

[sheepsnot]

Alas! I've been reduced to a single letter. I coulda been a contender!

[elfworks]

hey, that was MISTER single letter!!!


;)



xo

[ReineV]

no one ever tells me what they want for Christmas, i usually wing it and get very positive results! part of the joy of Chrismas shopping is going and just looking....if you see something that reminds you of someone on your list, get it. my mom is an exper Christmas/birthday present watcher and pretty much watches everyone throughout the year and if we ever say "oh that's cool" or "that's pretty" or something of the like, it (or something like it) turns up under the tree Christmas morning, other times she just knows people well enough. i don't think that incorporating a gift registry is necessary, Christmas isn't about the gifts, I think the site is great as is.

[sheepsnot]

Let me know what you think about setting limits. Before the actual buying begins (Dec. 23rd) I like the idea but when it comes time to buy for the wife I hate it, so I end up being a hypocrite. She had a fairly tragic childhood and I can remember for the first couple Christmases we were married I tried to make up for it. She would crawl around the tree in awe that someone thought that much of her. Now I am more conservative (translate as cheap).

[MarthaK]

I'm not all that crazy about the idea for Christmas, however if one were to appear here, I wouldn't have the strong negative feels some have expressed.

On the practical matter, beyond Elf's valid points on gift giving, what is the point? When it comes to bridal and baby registries, these are accessed by folks whose circles don't connect; college friends, friends of parents, co-workers, etc. Many of them may have never met one of the recipients (bride or groom). They have no ideas about the new couple's tastes and preferences. Whether they use the registry or not, it does provide an idea to go on.

That being said, who gives Christmas gifts to strangers? --beyond charity efforts, of course.-- If you don't know what to get the person, you typically know someone you can ask.

My Mom is one of those who never has a clue about what to get me. She asks me EVERY YEAR to make a list for her. She gets the same list every year; I get the same gifts every year. It really does take the fun out of it....but it does beat just getting cash. Don't get me wrong, I love cash, but cash is not Christmas.

And why would my own mother have to ask every year? How many times do I have to say "Christmas lights and extention cords" before it sinks in?

[HolyNight7]

I'm not saying I'm for or against it. But even Santa has a list and checks it twice. Sometimes your just really unsure of what a person wants and knowing they'll enjoy the gift because it was something they wanted can be okay too. Personally I usually try to find out what someone in my family wants but I also come up with stuff that's from my heart too.

PS. Ralphie let everyone on the planet know he wanted that Red Ryder B B Gun. When he finally got it, did it take away from the joy or excitement? Was it any less effective? I was just as excited for him as he was.

Sorry I guess I was just giving another point of view.

[Ervserver]

just do a grab bag

:wiggy:

[ChristmasFanatic]

I love giving gifts and I think I know my family and friends very well....their likes and dislikes, but I'll admit, I do ask for lists, just because people tend to change feelings on things so quickly these days. One month they may be all for this or that and the following month, I suddenly find out their mind and feelings have changed. In this day and age of video games, DVDs and anything else, I almost need something to go on, because most of my family is at the stage where if they really want something, they'll simply buy it. I'm asked for a list and always make a 'master' list and that gives the family something to go on, but doesn't mean I expect everything on the list, it's just an idea for them to go on and they still gift me with the unexpected as I do them.

I guess I can see both sides of this debate.....it doesn't matter what you gift someone with, as long as there's feelings and thought behind the gift and the flip side, if someone pretty much has everything you can think of, then a nudge in a certain direction never hurts, either.

[mrshfromjersey]

I am not a fan of lists either. If I am stumped on a gift for a neice or nephew, I will call their parents and ask what they are interested in lately. This usually works well. I have the most fun trying to pick out gifts for people. While I think the list is good for a child to write to Santa, I'm with ElfWorks and Sheepsnot on the thrill of finding the perfect gift and the anticipation and surprise when it is opened.

I am anti-gift registry. When we were getting married I didn't want to do a bridal registry. My family bugged me until I gave in and, in a fit of rebeliousness, signed up at Walmart and ONLY WALMART. (I'm not the gold trimmed china pattern type) I think we were the first and ONLY bridal registry that had a Scooby Doo pillow listed on it. Even with the gift registry, we recieved 4 hand mixers, 2 coffee pots and multiples of several other items on our list. Real helpful, huh?

(Kathy climbs down from her soapbox)

[caseydbell]

I clicked...amd it did not come up :(

[Ervserver]

For many the whole gift giving thing has gotten out of hand and the real message of it all forgotten.

[christmas_nut_k_1209]

I actually think its a great idea...Especially for the family that you dont see everyday, like your grandparents...around here nobody spends much time with their grandparents saying, "nana i want that for christmas" ... I really like the idea of having a site to register what you'd like for christmas...

:give:

[caseydbell]

I agrre with sheep, and elfworks (minus the flashes of course).