SCROLL BY, DONT READ IF SENSITIVE. CONTROVERSIAL CONTENT!!!

[elfworks]

men suck.

every last one of them. (except the men here)

xo

[Ervserver]

oh is that it...thought you were gonna say poop again

[elfworks]

okie dokie.... have it your way!

all men (ETOH) are big gigantic poops.

xo

[Ervserver]

HO HO HO
:eek:

[dvdguy]

what happened now?

[Jeff Westover]

I think Elfworks needs a hug.

Men do not suck, Lady Elfworks. Men who treat Elfworks wrong suck.

As someone once said: There isn't a single man in a hundred who knows how to treat a woman. And there isn't one woman in 999 who knows when she is well treated.

Whatever is it, Elf, we're here for you.

Jeff

[HolyNight7]

Wow those are some strong feelings. I guess I felt the same way a while back. I can't deny that I'm hesitent about getting involved again.

[elfworks]

it isnt a relationship thing. i am just so very very tired of dishonesty and RP. i have reached maximum capacity for tolerance of either.

but thank you all.

xoxox

[HolyNight7]

Yea that's a pet peeve of mine as well. Sorry Elfworks.

[ReineV]

men suck.

every last one of them. (except the men here)

xo

YEA! FIGHT THE POWER!

[HolyNight7]

Oh my goodness. Feminism is in the air in the Christmas forums. LOL!

[dvdguy]

what power? I'm not in charge of squat

[ReineV]

what power? I'm not in charge of squat

I dunno, I just heard someone say it...thought the randomness would give you a good laugh...was wrong...nevermind! Moving on...

[sheepsnot]

I'm gonna have to quit my job if you guys are gonna talk about all the fun stuff when I'm gone!

All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.

[Ervserver]

I wanna be slimy weasel

[mrshamm]

I'm glad I have a great man! I do agree that most are slugs though.

[sheepsnot]

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women."

[Ervserver]

Sears would have to end their Craftsman brand

[elfworks]

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women."

siiiiiiiiiiiigh!!!


xo

[Ervserver]

Psychiatric Help 10¢

The Doctor is
IN

[elfworks]

I AM NOT the one who needs psychiatric counselling!!!!

however.... thank you and the dime is in the mail.


xo

[HolyNight7]

I'm thinking a world without men would be the cure for PMS.

[sheepsnot]

I'm thinking you'd kill each other if men weren't such a nice distraction.

[Christy Carol]

I'm glad I have a great man! I do agree that most are slugs though.

Me too, third time was the charm.

Feel better Elfworks

[Holiday]

I'm thinking you'd kill each other if men weren't such a nice distraction.

Lol!! I think you're absolutely right!!! :lol:

[Ervserver]

what fun would Christmas be without a man to give you that mini food processor, new clothes basket, or Ginsu knife set as seen on TV ????

[sheepsnot]

I gave my wife a washer and dryer FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY! Who says men aren't thoughtful and romantic?

[HolyNight7]

There are some out there who might find a washer and dryer very romatic particularly while it's in the spin cycle.

[elfworks]

HN!!!!!!!!! i am shocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!


:D

xo

[HolyNight7]

:D

[mrshamm]

:o I'm telling my mommy....lol.

[Santa David]

I gave my wife a washer and dryer FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY! Who says men aren't thoughtful and romantic?

I gave my wife a semi-automatic assault rifle for getting into grad school. Does that count?

Santa David

[Ervserver]

I gave my wife a washer and dryer FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY! Who says men aren't thoughtful and romantic?

I gave my wife a semi-automatic assault rifle for getting into grad school. Does that count?

Santa David


last thing i'd do is give any of the women in my life a gun,

:o

[elfworks]

:(
:(
:(

now i am really depressed.


xo

[HolyNight7]

Wow that's scary!!! :o

[sheepsnot]

I don't know what to say! "Off to school, honey! Here's your lunch, some milk money, and an assault rifle. I'll be watching CNN!"

[Santa David]

I don't know what to say! "Off to school, honey! Here's your lunch, some milk money, and an assault rifle. I'll be watching CNN!"

Yes, that's about the size of it.

Actually, she's not a psycho, honest. She's a nurse, if you can believe it. She also likes to target shoot, and she's gotten bored with the little .22 plinkers that we have. And she's a better shot than me.

But I draw the line at getting her the grenade launcher or the Abrams tank that is on her Christmas wish list. Maybe some fluffy socks will suffice...

If you don't hear from me after Dec. 25, you know why.

Santa David

[elfworks]

EXACTLY sheepers!!!!


xo

[HolyNight7]

Just get her a cow that poops jelly beans. It's much safer.

[ReineV]

I gave my wife a washer and dryer FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY! Who says men aren't thoughtful and romantic?

I gave my wife a semi-automatic assault rifle for getting into grad school. Does that count?

Santa David


last thing i'd do is give any of the women in my life a gun,

:o

my sister just got a glock 9...her husband is very very well behaved now :D

[dvdguy]

dont give the women weapons

[HolyNight7]

I'm personally scared of them. They are made for one thing. Killing.

[dvdguy]

guns too

[elfworks]

cussword cussword cussword. stupid rude dishonest cussword. screaming. disrespectful pig. thats it. disrespect. that is the cussword bottom line. hey santa dave... think your wife would led me that cussword gun???


cussword.

xo

[elfworks]

sorry. just venting.

grumbling

mumbling.

is there a smoke-coming-out -ears smilie?

xo

[dvdguy]

no that would be neat though

[Santa David]

cussword cussword cussword. stupid rude dishonest cussword. screaming. disrespectful pig. thats it. disrespect. that is the cussword bottom line. hey santa dave... think your wife would led me that cussword gun???


cussword.

xo

Well, if the guy is being THAT much of a jerk, I guess he would have it coming.

Would you like the armor-piercing rounds or the heat-seeking ones?

Santa David

[sheepsnot]

I think we've gone all Montana militia. Scaring the kids off.

[dvdguy]

if it keeps her mind off her problems its a good thing

[elfworks]

yall... i am sorry. i am really a very nice person. i really really am. and while i do, in fact, cuss like a sailor, irl, i have gone out of my way to avoid being unladylike here. i am just so overwhelmingly annoyed at this moment. everytime i think i am over it, the poop does something else! what a time to live in a dry freakin county!! :D

anyway, thanks for letting me vent now and b4. i think it is easier somehow to vent to ppl you cant see. kwim? i hope my tirade didnt offend anyone. if so, please let me know.

(((((((MMC)))))))

xo

[dvdguy]

DRY COUNTY! how do you survive?

[elfworks]

i have become very very adept at getting the 17 miles to the liquor store in the next county in under 10 minutes!! the really sad part is that in austin, a friend of mine owned a liq store, so i got really great discounts. AND it was a really great store with a hughe selection and he and i have similar tastes in wine so he was always turning me on to groovy new stuff.
this place is small and overpriced and the staff is unbelievably ignorant. it boggles the mind.

oh well..... going to austin in a few weeks for a party.. will have to make an emergency stop at mitch's.

xo

[dvdguy]

oof, here you can get alcohol anywhere.

[mrshfromjersey]

drive through liquor stores

[dvdguy]

just picked up an 18yr old single malt
ok I'll stop, dont want to cause drooling

[HoHoHoHeeHeeHee]

Ack! men.....I would love to see a certain one's butt kicked. That's all I am going to say. :???:

[dvdguy]

<holding on to butt>

[sheepsnot]

I have to learn to start from the top when catching up cause dudguy's post is waaay out of whack if read first!

[dvdguy]

such is the case with most of my posts

[sheepsnot]

Hey, you can post from work? Where were you yesterday?

[dvdguy]

actually I am off today. & i'm about to be off to the beach :???:

[Christy Carol]

I wanna go to the beach *stomps foot*

I haven't been to Florida in 5 years. Thats just way too long for me. :x

[HoHoHoHeeHeeHee]

<holding on to butt> LOL! :grin:

[dvdguy]

yes Arkansas is a bit far from the beach

[Christy Carol]

yes Arkansas is a bit far from the beach

You are telling me! Normally we go to Okaloosa Island in the panhandle and it takes an entire day to get there. The closest I have been is Orange Beach, Alabama but I understand there is not alot left there since Katrina.

[HolyNight7]

Hey dvdguy Winn Dixie has a great selection of wine.

[Ervserver]

My beach is put away in the garage for the winter.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v219/Javern/newpool.jpg

[HolyNight7]

LOL Ervserver.

[dvdguy]

somebodies trying to get me schnockered

[elfworks]

dvd!! yall are already home from the sun and sand????


xo

[dvdguy]

yep nice day

[mrshfromjersey]

Beautiful day. Saw dolphins, iquanas, ospreys, egrets, gulls, sandpipers, fishermen, boats, sunbathers....was a wonderful day.

[Ervserver]

any sharks? me fraid sharks

[dvdguy]

wont be sharks with dolphins around

[mrshfromjersey]

only land sharks.....

knock knock
Who's there?

Land Shark

[elfworks]

candygram.



:D


xo

[sheepsnot]

Jehovah's Witness, ma'am!

[elfworks]

now THAT is scary!!!!!!!




:D

XO

[sheepsnot]

My dad, and he is my reason for weirdness, used to strip down to his BVDs and answer the door when JWs came a knockin'. We were crossed off the list for years. Dad's not too tolerant of religious folks. A bit of a pantheist, he says.

[elfworks]

my great pal, mitch, once had a roomie named, nathan. nathan was and is an artiste. (say it french-y) anyway, at the time of this story, nathan was doing a one-man show based on the STONES' SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL. it was in the basement of some bar. no dressing room or anything, so nath used to get dressed at home b4 going. and he had been doing this one man show for about a year, so must of us didnt call him nathan anymore, we called him satan. one day, he was just about to leave for the club, dressed in his red satin body suit, replete with horns and tail, when the doorbell rang. mitch answered and there were a couple of JW's. mitch, ever gracious, invited them in to chat altho did warn them that he was a methodist. they are settling in on the sofa, when the phone rings. it was for nath. mitch hollers up the stairs: satan, its for you!

so here comes nathan, in full costume, into the LR with the JW's. mitch said he never even heard the door. one second they were there, the next second they werent!!


xo

[mrshfromjersey]

Funny funny funny

I remember being over my best friends house my senior year of high school. We were watching TV in the living room when all of a sudden my friend yelled "Get DOWN!" and pulled me onto the floor and made me lay as close to the wall under the big picture window so we couldn't be seen. This is what HER parents did when the JW came a knocking.

[Ervserver]

They don't seem to come around as much anymore...around here anyway

[HolyNight7]

That's a crack up! Ah anyway how'd we go from a day at the beach to satan in satin? :-o

[Ervserver]

Elf's fault

[elfworks]

no no no. its snot's fault. he brought up the jw's!


xo

[Ervserver]

yah what she sed

[elfworks]

i love it when men agree with me. it happens so rarely, tho, that i hardly know how to react!


xo

[Ervserver]

It's your Elf name Nessa Melwasúl, does something to me

:o

[elfworks]

my hobbitt name is RUBY CHUBB. howzat???


:D

xo

[sheepsnot]

Hey! I wasn't even here to defend myself. Best time to dog me, eh? I agree. Wait until you leave. Anyhow, when I lived in Scotland two JWs showed up at the door, both with a severe stuttering problem. Now, Simpsons fans, if you can imagine Willy with a bad stutter trying to tell you about the new world, it was hilarious. We became good friends. I suggested that they send only one stutterer to a door at a time, however.

[Ervserver]

my hobbitt name is RUBY CHUBB. howzat???


:D

xo


sounds like a bait for fishing

[elfworks]

oh poo. IT DOES NOT!



xo

[HolyNight7]

Sheeps, you lived in Scottland??? As in the country or is there a Scottland TN?

[elfworks]

scotland the country.

i think he explained it in his introductory post.....


xo

[Ervserver]

McCoy: One good slug of this, and you could hit a man with phaser stun, and he'd never feel it, or even know it.

Scotty: [drinks down the entire glass] Does it make a good mix with Scotch?
McCoy: It should.

Scotty: [walks away with the entire bottle] I'll let you know.

[HolyNight7]

Didn't reak earlier posts. Sometimes these things get so long and there's only so much time in a day.

[elfworks]

did you see that thing on HISTORY CHANNEL (I THINK) about how star trek influenced inventions etc...?

very cool.

xo

[HolyNight7]

Missed that one.

[elfworks]

Didn't reak earlier posts. Sometimes these things get so long and there's only so much time in a day.

HN7, if you will click on sheep's profile then click on the thing that says find all posts by this user (or something like that) go to his first or second post. it explains why his name is sheepsnot and its origins in his time in scotland.


xo

[HolyNight7]

Okay!

[Ervserver]

did you see that thing on HISTORY CHANNEL (I THINK) about how star trek influenced inventions etc...?

very cool.

xo


name a few

[HolyNight7]

I've seen a few animals toys that look and sound like Tribbles.

[Ervserver]

aye captain they'll be no treble at all

[elfworks]

erv, hunny, i was on meds when i watched it! surely you dont expect me to remember SPECIFICS!!!!!


xo

[dvdguy]

whats the trouble?

[Ervserver]

Elf and her drugs

[dvdguy]

oh I thought It was tribbles

[Ervserver]

erv, hunny, i was on meds when i watched it! surely you dont expect me to remember SPECIFICS!!!!!


xo


see..she called me hunny

[AuntieMistletoeDear]

:-) Hi, sorry to hear that men are being nasty to you, Elf.

Glad these guys are here with their support and friendly banter to keep your mind off your tribles - I mean troubles.

The JW's used to have conventions here and spend three days knocking on doors. I was over at my mom's one day in the summer and the front door was open, and my mother was on the love seat (I was on the sofa out of door view). There was the knock - and knock. She sat their reading, ignoring them. I whispered, "they can see you mom." So she hardly turned her head and said, "go away I'm reading a realllly good book." (It was her latest Mauve Bianchy novel). They went away. She told me they were rude to be peeking in the screen door.

When I was younger, I remember hiding behind furniture because we'd see them cross the street from the neighbours toward's our house.


8) My husband on the other hand, would invite them in or stop to talk to them on the street and share his Buddhist beliefs with them in exchange for listening to what they had to say.

[dvdguy]

they come here, I'll start talking about scientology

lol

[Ervserver]

As with other unsolicited door knockers I go into a pointless rant on various topics until they tire and move on, likely never to return.

[Christy Carol]

I have a neighbor I hide from. If I ever let her inside I can never convince her to go home. I can be putting on a coat and have my keys in hand and she still walks right on it and sits down.

[Ervserver]

you could always serve her some exlax brownies then she surely will have to run.

:???:

[Christy Carol]

you could always serve her some exlax brownies then she surely will have to run.

:???:

no lie!! Except she is one of those that always has something wrong with her anyway so that would give her more ammo! Ya know the kind...the ones you NEVER ask them how they are doing!

[Ervserver]

they have a word for that...something .....aniac

[sheepsnot]

I know the kind. Life-suckers. They suck the life and happiness right out of you. After our wedding a guy came up to us and said, "I hope it lasts. My daughter's marriage ended in a few months." Oh, happy day! I feel like testing rope all of the sudden.

[Christy Carol]

I know the kind. Life-suckers. They suck the life and happiness right out of you. After our wedding a guy came up to us and said, "I hope it lasts. My daughter's marriage ended in a few months." Oh, happy day! I feel like testing rope all of the sudden.

Thanks! That will be my new code word for her. I will tell BF when I yell out Life-Sucker to run to the bedroom. That is normally where we hide out when she shows up.

[elfworks]

turn the tables on her! thats what i did with a neighbor like this. after months of hiding out, i found myself with nothing to do one day and wnt over to her house and just stayed and stayed and stayed. asked lots of personal and impertinent questions. i stayed til they were all figeting to sit down to dinner. she never stopped by again!! best "wasted" 3 hours i ever spent in my life!!!


xo

[Christy Carol]

turn the tables on her! thats what i did with a neighbor like this. after months of hiding out, i found myself with nothing to do one day and wnt over to her house and just stayed and stayed and stayed. asked lots of personal and impertinent questions. i stayed til they were all figeting to sit down to dinner. she never stopped by again!! best "wasted" 3 hours i ever spent in my life!!!


xo

See, I am afraid it would start something worse. She is all the time begging me to come over. Her husband works swing shift and last year the first week of deer season he was working nights so she begged me to come and stay with her since her hubby was working and my BF was in the woods. I didnt think I was ever gonna get her to drop it. And to make matters worse she has a daughter (about 23) who is learning to be just like her so I knew I was gonna get gang rushed. Between the two of them my ears would have fallen off!!!

[Ervserver]

get one of those mean dog tapes and when she knocks on your door play it full blast

[Iron Eagle]

Wow !!! I'm trully Blessed. I don't know anyone like that. The one neighbor that stops over, is always welcome. I'll have to ask Mrs.Eagle, maybe she knows someone like that . . . . .

[Head Elf]

Being out here in the high desert we don't have annoying neighbors. But I know what you mean, I had one when I was younger and we even played jokes on him. He was only 6 yrs old. He would knock on the door and we would shout that no one was home and he would go home. We would hide alot from him. But like I said, no one here in the desert to bother me.

[Montana's Santa]

A girl said poop!



The best way to keep JWs away from your house is to hang a flag and Christmas decorations all over it. I haven't had a visit in eight years.

Did she really say poop??!!
Potty mouth.

[Billy Battles]

I would consider myself a pretty friendly person. but I have lived in my house for about 7 months and I haven't even spoke to any of my neighbors.

[Storeytime]

yall... i am sorry. i am really a very nice person. i really really am. and while i do, in fact, cuss like a sailor, irl, i have gone out of my way to avoid being unladylike here. i am just so overwhelmingly annoyed at this moment. everytime i think i am over it, the poop does something else! what a time to live in a dry freakin county!! :D

anyway, thanks for letting me vent now and b4. i think it is easier somehow to vent to ppl you cant see. kwim? i hope my tirade didnt offend anyone. if so, please let me know.

(((((((MMC)))))))

xo
Hey Elfworks, sorry I got in on this post a bit late. But, I don't blame you. Sometimes others of my gender make me want to puke. You can do no wrong in my book. you prayed for me during my time of need as many others did here. That's the greatest gift any of you could've given me. Hope you're day's better tomorrow.

[AuntieMistletoeDear]

Psychiatric Help 10¢

The Doctor is
IN

That's my friend Lucy VanPelt offering her helpful tips.

C'mon just call 'em a blockhead and be done with it.

I, on the other hand have the bestestpickofthebunch.

My husband thinks most men are jerks. He can't believe how some of them act. Watching re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond he always says, "how can she live with him, he's so stupid." There are other things he has said about things he's seen men do or heard them say in real life not just on TV, but I won't share them here - it's a festive place, afterall.

Never mind the mean dog tapes, you can borrow O'Malley the cat anytime - he'll take care of things for you. He's a wildcat.

:D Santa might leave you an oversized pooper-scooper this year to tackle your problems.

[Montana's Santa]

At least we're talking about other women and not us poor misunderstood men.... :)