Ho-ho-hello!

[Santa]

Hi boys and girls! Looks like I beat the elves here. Elf Ernest said he would have a list of questions for me from the email sent in recently and Elf Ed Zachary said he would have a few of the Christmas mysteries to ask about.

Guess I'll just hang out for a while today. Mrs. Claus went to a baby shower today, got a new elf on the way, a little girl, as I understand things. Always great fun bringing a new one home in a stocking.

Maybe I'll stick my nose into some of the other forums while I am here.

[Head Elf]

Hey Santa,

What's it look like for this year?

[Head Elf]

It's kind of different talking to you via a forum and not in person and such. I'm a little intimidated now, but you still rock......

[dvdguy]

HEY Santa! how goes it?

[Santa]

Hey Santa,

What's it look like for this year?

Pretty darn good. I suspect that by the time the year is over, we'll have gone through 365 full days and not a minute left.

I'm not real good at predictions though. Sylvia Brown keeps asking me for predictions (every Christmas) and while I do my best, because at heart she is a good girl you know, I'm just not very good at it.

love, Santa

[Santa]

It's kind of different talking to you via a forum and not in person and such. I'm a little intimidated now, but you still rock......

Intimidated? Why?

That is one of the things about being Santa that makes me a little sad. I'll see kids lined up to sit on my lap and some of them will wait for hours. A few won't get closer to me than 20 yards and they will just sit and stare. I will wave to them and they will nod their little heads and keep them down like they are so shy. Then a Mom or a Dad will bring them to me and the tears start to flow. That makes me sad.

I'm just an old guy. I don't know why kids would be afraid or intimidated by little ole me.

love, Santa

[Santa]

HEY Santa! how goes it?

Life is good. Been working on the sleigh. She's going to be fast this year. I have not found a name for her yet (I give her a name every year, you know). I have to put my thinking cap on. Last year's sleigh was named Bountiful Betty because she was so BIG. Good golly, she had capacity.

But Mrs. Claus did not like her name. She said I should have used the word "bodacious" instead, and she did have a point. So this year I'm being more careful with the naming thing.

The sleigh has a more laid back design -- really, really fine black leather seat. Oooh, it's supple...not that harsh Corinthian stuff used in the past. Everything about her says speed. She looks fast standing still. And I cannot for the life of me think of a good name.

Do you have any ideas for me?

love, Santa

[elfworks]

maybe we could have a NEW SLEIGH NAMING CONTEST?

(dont know why, but i now have GREASED LIGHTENING stuck in my head!)

xo

[Santa]

maybe we could have a NEW SLEIGH NAMING CONTEST?

(dont know why, but i now have GREASED LIGHTENING stuck in my head!)

xo

That is a VERY good idea, Elfie. I will ask Elf Ernest to help set it up. Just so long as everyone understand that it has to be a GIRL's name. Greased Lightning is good, don't get me wrong, but it is missing that personality element I'm looking for. My sleigh, just like my Christmas tree, has to have just the right name every year. I'm very serious about this.

love, Santa

[Santa]

Elf Ernest? Where are you, boy?

[Elf Ernest]

Yes, sir. Right here sir, monitoring things as usual. How can I be of service?

[Santa]

Oh, there you are. How are my squash doing? And where have you been? I thought I'd have some questions from the kiddies here already today.

[Elf Ernest]

Your squash are not doing well, sir. We had frost again last night and they are dreadfully small. Elf Knute says you must absolutely move them into the greenhouse sir and that this experiment is not working.

I apologize for not posting the emails. We do not yet have them sorted out. We had a problem with our spam filter last week and we did not want to post anything inappropriate.

[elfworks]

That is a VERY good idea, Elfie. I will ask Elf Ernest to help set it up. Just so long as everyone understand that it has to be a GIRL's name. Greased Lightning is good, don't get me wrong, but it is missing that personality element I'm looking for. My sleigh, just like my Christmas tree, has to have just the right name every year. I'm very serious about this.

love, Santa

i am sorry, santa, i wasnt clear. didnt mean that the sleigh should be named greased lightening. just meant that the song popped into my head when i read your description!

[Santa]

Balderdash! I have been working for decades on warming things just a *tad* so that I can have some fresh summer squash grown at the North Pole. There has to be a way. Kindly tell Elf Knute to keep the heaters close by and on. We will keep trying. Elf-size squash is better than none at all.

Ok, post them when you can and I will be around for a few days to answer them.

I need a favor, please. I am having trouble coming up with a name for the sleigh this year. We must find a name that is right and that will please Mrs. Claus. Will you help coordinate a sleigh naming contest here?

[Head Elf]

Santa, It's not often that you are able to talk to the main head elf and with everything going on, how do you pick one topic to ask about. All those little children that are scared will realize in a couple of years that you are a cool dude. But it might be the beard and your bowl full of jelly. Plus the red isn't as comforting as maybe the red of a fire truck or a shiny new mustang or a stop sign. How about this for a name for your sleigh this year: Santa Cruiser? How about this for a motto: Sleighing the sky in a blink of an eye! With your sleigh slicing through the night sky and all.

[Santa]

i am sorry, santa, i wasnt clear. didnt mean that the sleigh should be named greased lightening. just meant that the song popped into my head when i read your description!

You know that naughty song, Elfie? Tsk. Tsk. You need to elevate your culture a little bit. Have you ever listened to Rush?

love, Santa

[Elf Ernest]

I am having trouble coming up with a name for the sleigh this year. We must find a name that is right and that will please Mrs. Claus. Will you help coordinate a sleigh naming contest here?

Yes, sir. It will be done. We will make a world-wide push to get ideas. When would you like this contest to end? At what point will you select a name, sir?

[Santa]

Santa, It's not often that you are able to talk to the main head elf and with everything going on, how do you pick one topic to ask about. All those little children that are scared will realize in a couple of years that you are a cool dude. But it might be the beard and your bowl full of jelly. Plus the red isn't as comforting as maybe the red of a fire truck or a shiny new mustang or a stop sign. How about this for a name for your sleigh this year: Santa Cruiser? How about this for a motto: Sleighing the sky in a blink of an eye! With your sleigh slicing through the night sky and all.

Head Elf,

You have a keen mind. I have a notion to put you in my marketing department.

love, Santa

[elfworks]

i am more of a BEATLES kind of gal..... but i do like rush.

xox

[Santa]

Yes, sir. It will be done. We will make a world-wide push to get ideas. When would you like this contest to end? At what point will you select a name, sir?

Well, the sleigh won't actually be used until December 24th. So we will run the naming contest until December 20th and reveal the winning name on Christmas Eve day just before I take off.

How does that sound?

[Elf Ernest]

How does that sound?

Brilliant, sir.

[Santa]

i am more of a BEATLES kind of gal..... but i do like rush.

xox

Beatles, eh? You are world-class, elfie. I have a lot of them on my sleigh-pod.

love, Santa

[Santa]

Brilliant, sir.

You're a good elf, Ernie. I look forward to some of those emails. My in-box has a spam problem too right now. Can you get Elf Dobie to look into that? Mrs. Claus is getting supicious.

[elfworks]

me too! well, it isnt a "sleigh" pod.......

xo

[Elf Ernest]

You're a good elf, Ernie. I look forward to some of those emails. My in-box has a spam problem too right now. Can you get Elf Dobie to look into that? Mrs. Claus is getting supicious.

Thank you, sir. Elf Dobie and team are working around the clock on it, sir. Anything else?

[Santa]

me too! well, it isnt a "sleigh" pod.......

xo

Yes, well the sleigh-pod is still proprietary. I need to have a conversation with Mr. Jobs about the whole i-phone thing. Our deal didn't include highway robbery. I won't give him the sleigh-pod stuff until he straightens a few things out.

love, Santa

[Santa]

Thank you, sir. Elf Dobie and team are working around the clock on it, sir. Anything else?

Yes, Ernest. Merry Christmas!

[Elf Ernest]

Merry Christmas, sir. Please extend our warmest greetings to Mrs. Claus.

[Santa]

Merry Christmas, sir. Please extend our warmest greetings to Mrs. Claus.

I would but she is out shopping this evening. Something about nose hair.

[Elf Ernest]

I would but she is out shopping this evening. Something about nose hair.

Sir?

[Santa]

Sir?

I know...don't ask. She also said something about shoes.

[Elf Ernest]

I know...don't ask. She also said something about shoes.

Ah, I understand. Please tell her that the cookies at the North Pole are not the same without her.

[Santa]

Ah, I understand. Please tell her that the cookies at the North Pole are not the same without her.

Indeed. Today she made maple macadamia. A great summer tradition!

[Elf Ernest]

Indeed. Today she made maple macadamia. A great summer tradition!

Please sir -- I'm working!

[Santa]

Please sir -- I'm working!

Oh, sorry. Carry on.

[elfworks]

MAPLE MACADAMIA?????

would this recipe be available anywhere? that sounds like a cookie my mother would love!

xo

[dvdguy]

sorry missed all the fun, had a side trip to the hospital.

[Santa]

MAPLE MACADAMIA?????

would this recipe be available anywhere? that sounds like a cookie my mother would love!

xo

Mrs. Claus keeps all her recipes secret. This one is a recipe she has been working on for months. I told her today that it was perfect but she is still fussing over them and promised to give them another run later in the week.

She always tests them out on me before serving them at the North Pole.

love, Santa

[Santa]

sorry missed all the fun, had a side trip to the hospital.

Are you ok?

love, Santa <== sticking around the Merry Forums this weekend

[elfworks]

santa, info is in the inner sanctum.

xo

[Santa]

Thank you, Elfworks. I will take a gander.

[dvdguy]

Are you ok?

love, Santa <== sticking around the Merry Forums this weekend

yes just air conditioned better

[Santa]

Oh. ok. It sounded more serious than that. Hospitals are never fun. But if it makes things cooler in Florida....

[dvdguy]

just 2 new holes. One by accident & one to take care of it

[Santa]

just 2 new holes. One by accident & one to take care of it

Ah, another case where the cure is as bad as the affliction, I see. Sorry about that. Hope you get better soon.

love, Santa

[dvdguy]

Ill be ok Santa, just wasnt a trip i wanted to make today

[Head Elf]

I hope you are ok DVD, I just got back in from shopping. Hope all is well and you take it easy or easier.

[JanaBanana]

Can other children ask the questions? Or do we need to email the questions to one of your elves? :)

[JanaBanana]

Oops forgot to add that my 2 youngest would love to ask Santa a couple of question.