My dilemma....

[Holiday]

Ohhh, I have a dilema! I just got an email from my husbands sister wanting to know our Thanksgiving plans. She’s wanting the whole family to go to Norris Lake & stay at her boss’ house for free Wed. through Sunday. It’s a 6 bedroom house w/ plenty of room for everybody! The only thing we would have to do is rake leaves & clean up a little to get ready for winter. She said her husband wants to rent a pontoon one day (even though it will be cold) & the guys could go golfing one day. This sounds like SO much fun, but my heart sank when I read it – I can’t imagine not being home for Thanksgiving!!!! As much as I hate to think about it, my parents are almost 80 years old & we don’t know how many more holidays we will have with them! And I ALWAYS put up my tree & have wine day (with my friends – they come over & “help” me put up my tree, drink wine, eat snacks & listen to Christmas music) the Friday after Thanksgiving – it’s one of my favorite days of the year!!! I don’t want to be the party pooper saying “no I don’t want to go” & I don’t want to miss a get away with my in laws, but I also don’t want to miss the holiday here!! What do you think? I hate this!!! The thought of going away over Thanksgiving weekend immediately makes me say, NO! NO! NO! I want to stay home, but that’s not really fair to my hubby either. HELP…… I guess I should see what my hubby has to say 1st, but he will more than likely say “it doesn’t matter to me, whatever you want to do!” He’s pretty easy going! :) The other thing is, my in laws don’t catch the Christmas spirit, so I don’t think it will seem like the holidays at all! :(

[Cedarfarm]

~Hey Hol....Stay Home! You don't want to miss those beloved traditions you created, Noooo! Plus, your parents are in their 80's? STAY!! Nothing can beat the homeground at the holidays!

Good Luck, you will do the right thing...:rudolph:

[Jeff Westover]

Home is where you are....not the place that you're in. Still, what's the pressure? Stay home and rake your own leaves. Hubby can still rent the pontoon. Just have him sit in it in the garage. It'll be warmer, a shorter walk back, and he won't need to insure it.

[joyful]

From your post I feel your true feelings are you want to stay home, if so then by all means listen to that inner voice and don't be swayed. Maybe it just isn't time for a pull away from tradition but timing may be better in the future.

If you and hubby are in agreement to stay home, then stay home. If you are not in agreement about changing plans then don't do it. You both must be in agreement or else it may cause friction over the holidays and that is never good.

[Head Elf]

My husband and I are in agreement on this one..... Follow your heart, stay home and enjoy the traditions you have started. The Lord willing, you will have more holidays with the in-laws as well as with your parents. Plus your plans sound so fun and engaging.

[whitexmas]

Tough decision because both sound great, so either way you're gonna have a great time. However, if it were me, there is NO way I wouldn't stay home for thanksgiving. I love the holidays and they arent the same when your not at home. Plus, your plans with your friends on black friday sound like a great, fun tradition! I think I'm going to start that too! So, i vote for stayin home! But good luck....and have fun!

[Holiday]

Cedar - I knew I loved ya for a reason - you just make sense!! :lol: My Dad will be 80 in December & my Mom will be 79 in February! Hard to believe!!

Jeff - LOL! Good points!! We've got the pontoon, we'll just have to hull it home - we can have a pontoon party in our garage!!

joyful - you are so right, my true feelings are I want to stay at home. I just never expected to be hit up with a proposition to go away for the holiday! My hubby seems like he sort of wants to go, but yet it's not a big deal if he doesn't. I thought maybe he could go w/ his family & I could stay with mine - but I don't want to be away from my hubby over Thanksgiving either!!

Head Elf - I too hope to have many more holidays with both sets of parents! Not having them around just doesn't seem right!

whitexmas - You should start a "wine day" (as we call it) or "tree day" tradition - we have a ball!!! My friends just laugh at me while I'm busy putting up all my Christmas decs - they think I'm a little nuts, but hey, that's what makes it so fun!!! :lol:

I might have an easy out on this whole Thanksgiving get away - my hubby just said his parents can't come until Friday after they close their business - and we would be leaving to come home on Sunday. It is a 7 hour drive, so he doesn't think it would be worth it for them. This might be the answer to my prayers - ohhhhhh, I sure hope so!! That would make me so darn happy!!!

[JanaBanana]

Sounds like you got a lot of great advice here already :) Glad you will be staying home and enjoying your Holiday traditions!!!

[Storeytime]

:piggyback:
That's a tough situation. My family and I ran around the state the first few years trying to make everybody happy. We finally had to realize that our own family and our traditions and beliefs had to come first. Anybody is invited and welcome to come to our home, but we just realized that Thanksgiving and Christmas just weren't the same away from home. I spent one Christmas out of town with some in-laws who didn't put up a tree, no music, they watched some gory-slasher movie on Christmas day. Never again! They're welcome at my house at Christmas, but it's going to be with trees, lights, Christmas music, Christmas movies, egg nog and Jesus. (Not crammed down their throats, just there for the taking)

[Sunshine73]

Well, it sounds like everything is going to work out okay. You'll get to stay home and not feel guilty about it!! However, my advice was going to be to stay home and try not to feel too guilty. Although I'm sure your husband's family would love to have you there with them, they will still have a great time without you and it definitely sounds like you'll have far more fun spending the holiday at home engaging in your own family traditions!

[kidzrme]

Stay home, That is what your heart is telling you....I would not want to be anywhere else over the holiday....Why can't you all go after Thanksgiving?

[Holiday]

They are wanting to go over Thanksgiving b/c we are all off work that Thursday & Friday - we can make a long weekend of it. It's a 7 hour drive, so we want to be able to spend some time there. The subject hasn't been brought up at all today. As fun as it would be to go, I sure hope it doesn't work out!! I just love our holiday traditions too much! :smile:

[Montana's Santa]

A quick note from Santa's Grinchy side: Sounds like her boss is too cheap to hire a caretaker to close up the summer place. I'd stay home and enjoy myself with the people and activities I really want to enjoy. Unfortunately, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving in a restaurant because I'll be on my Santa assignment for the season. Hold to the traditions you love... I know from experience what it feels like not to be home for the holidays...

[Holiday]

Montana's Santa - Lol!! You are right about her boss - though I'm not sure if he's too cheap, but he's too "good" to do that kind of work himself!! I don't care for her boss as a person (I about puked when my sil started working for him - I use to work with his wife, & he was not nice to her at all!) but it would be a nice get away - I just wish it were a different weekend.

I'm still hashing around what to do. My hubby's 2 sisters & their families are going for sure. We havent heard from my hubby's brother & family. My MIL & FIL can't go until that Friday after work, so they aren't sure if they are going or not. So I don't feel too bad about not going, since they won't be there for Thanksgiving anyway. I'm thinking if we go, we won't go until Friday, but then I really don't want to make the 7 hour trip for 1 day & turn around & drive 7 hours again. Bottom line - I don't want to leave my hometown over Thanksgiving weekend! :razz: My hubby doesn't seem overly excited about going, but he also hasn't said that he does not want to go. So I guess it's still up in the air! :???:

[JayIsh]

I have to say...It sounds like a pretty cool and fun trip! I very much understand about being home and traditions...I love our traditions, and I love being home for the holidays...but being away with a bunch of fun people out in the woods etc...It really sounds like alot of fun...I'd be hard pressed to say no! When my family is not "all" together on Thanksgiving, we pick a Sunday soon after when we all are around, and have a big turkey dinner etc. just like it was Thanksgiving...Most times, it's more fun than the actual holiday was...Sometimes when I follow the opportunities that come my way instead of my own ideas of how things should be, I'm enriched beyond belief and have a real ball...But I'm glad I don't have to make the decision...I just re-read what I wrote...I think i confused the issue even more...Sorry about that...When I first read your post I thought..."Sounds like fun...she should go!" So if I have to choose...I'd say GO!!!

[AuntieMistletoeDear]

:hello: Holiday - you are really the only person who can decide what's right for you.

I posed a similar question nearly four years ago at Christmas.com when I was faced with a decision I had to make about where I was going to wake up on Christmas morning. My father was struggling with cancer, but we had already made plans to start taking turns and spending more time with our boys and the grandchildren during the Christmas holidays. I have countless wonderful memories and my husband has so few. I wanted to do something special for him and I knew spending time with the children would make his Christmas more special. I struggled with my decision because of a comment my father had made. At the time I thought it was a "guilt trip" thing. I realized after that he was going to have a hard time not having me home on Christmas morning rushing over to help him collect the luminary bags and spending most of the day together and dealing with my mother's tears over it, etc. It's hard to believe I was visiting grandchildren on Christmas morning the first time I celebrated Christmas away from my mom and dad.

It was a little sad off and on, but I am so glad that I did it. My dad thankfully survived his battle with cancer and he just one a golf tournament.

The cabin sounds like a nice place to celebrate Thanksgiving. I'd love to go to a cabin in the woods if I wasn't going to be home. My husband and I are planning something like that next year for our Anniversary which falls around the time of the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend.

I am one of the most traditional people I know and I surprised myself by celebrating in a different way and really enjoyed it.

As for the long car ride, toss some Christmas tunes on and enjoy the ride.
But . . .

:family: It sounds to me like you want to stay home, but you are not sure how to tell the rest of the family about your decision. Perhaps reaching one soon, will give them time to invite another couple (if they wish) to join them instead.