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Screaming At God

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Posted 09-08-2010 at 01:00 PM by caninemom3
Tags brat

I have had this on my mind the last few days and debated on writing about it. I do not want to offend anyone but after all, our blogs are supposed to express our thoughts. Here goes. I don't know about anyone else here but occasionally I find myself so mad at God I could spit nails !! This may actually be for things He is or is not responsible for but He gets the blame nonetheless when I have a fit. There have been times when I have LITERALLY screamed at Him and yes, though I hate to admit it, have called Him, the Lord Almighty, every unsavory name in the book (and NOT the good book !) I have even shaken my fist at the sky screaming like a lunatic. I am not proud of this. Not at all. It is simply something that occurs sometimes.

For a while I was taught that you NEVER do this. NEVER blaspheme, if that is what I have done. But I do it. I just get fed up sometimes with things in this life. Fed up with good people suffering or being taken away too soon. Fed up with prejudice, (even though this involves free will and that is another discussion) and fed up with life being so sad for some people no matter how hard they try. It is like a pressure release.

Do I believe God could squash me like a bug ?? YES !! Absolutely !! But that is not His style. I grew up coming to know God as being very tolerant with a pair of shoulders so big He can take it. I always apologize to Him, always. Even when I am in the midst of a tantrum and tell Him I am done with Him, I still return to Him and very tearfully apologize. I apologize because He deserves above all my respect. I apologize because I love Him. I do fear God but He is, in my belief, a Father. The ultimate father.

I believe He loves ALL OF US. He became one of us. If anyone knows about human suffering it is Him. After all, it could not have been any more of a difficult thing than to be attacked by the very beings you created and have them crucify you.

I don't know why tragic things happen and really I don't know anything. I do know I am glad that I have a Father who knows what is in my heart even though my emotions may be at center stage at the moment.

God has done so much for me and I have no right to scream at him but isn't that what children do when they have a problem they are dealing with sometimes, scream at their parents ?? Tell them what idiots they are ?? This does not make it right. It just is what it is.

I don't know why He loves me, I really don't. I don't love me so how can He ?? I do know that He DOES and that He forgives my rants and ignorance. Perhaps He will use this aspect of my being for His good and that will be just fine with me. I could not have a more understanding, loving and caring creator.

Father, I love you. I am one of your most spoiled "brats" but I am glad that "I am yours and that you are mine".

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  1. Old Comment
    ChristmasHeart's Avatar
    Oh CM...I think we all may have yelled at God every now and then. You (and I) are only human. Thankfully...He is forgiving (even though we may find it difficult to forgive others). I loved the vido you posted by Third Day..."I am yours and you are mine". God is the ONLY one we can really trust. The Only One.

    Oh yes...I am a brat too.

    Thank you, once again, for sharing your thoughts! I ALWAYS enjoy reading what is on your mind...and on your heart!
    Posted 09-08-2010 at 06:31 PM by ChristmasHeart ChristmasHeart is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Christmas-A-Holic's Avatar
    I did get mad at God once. I suffered a tragic event in my life and asked him "why?". Now I realize that God is there to hug us when we are in pain. He is not to blame for bad things that happens in our life. He is there to take care of us through tough times. Remember to lean on God when you are down or suffering, do not get angry with Him.

    You are human and like you said you are expressing your thoughts. Maybe expressing how you feel will help you in the future when you feel sad or angry.

    Take care and God Bless You!
    Posted 09-08-2010 at 07:16 PM by Christmas-A-Holic Christmas-A-Holic is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Christmasstar's Avatar
    yes, I have screamed at God many times too. In the end He always picks me up again, gives me a hug and lets me know how much He loves me.
    Thanks for the song, I have never heard that one before, very nice.
    Posted 09-09-2010 at 02:03 PM by Christmasstar Christmasstar is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Jeff Westover's Avatar
    I think what you describe is only honest human nature. As a father myself, especially with six of them daughters, I know well the irrationality of a moment of angst.

    But rather than question Why? during these moments I think we should turn that passion into a more appropriate question: What is it I am to learn from this difficulty?

    In watching the inevitable human suffering that must fall in each life -- most recently in my life with my Mom -- I have seen, through the pain, the real wisdom of God in these difficult experiences.

    In Genesis, one of the first things we are taught is that we are made in God's image.

    To me that is a powerful statement too many merely dismiss as a reference to our physical appearance.

    My son is made in my image. No, he "looks" more like my wife. But he talks like me, he thinks like me, he appears to be growing like me.

    If we are in God's image than we must be capable of much more than just a mere physical resemblence. There must be something more for us beyond that meager definition.

    As a father, I want nothing more than for my children to be happy. But I've learned, through sad experience and heartbreak for me, that I cannot make their choices for them. They must suffer consequences. They must see the light from the dark. They must experience life and death. All of these things give them experience and help to shape who they are as people. We cheer when they accomplish things. We cry when they suffer. Through this they progress...and thus bring glory to God.

    "The glory of God is intelligence. Or, light and truth." So the scripture says.

    I think this life is all about growing in light and truth. It doesn't come solely through the study of scripture. It can't really come from the reassuring words of clergy or loved one. It comes mostly from a lifetime of contrasting experiences...both good and bad...and it comes in managing our reactions to it all and proving, sometimes over and over again, that we can get a little better each time we're faced with a new trial.

    You're right. He does understand our suffering. He has descended below us all. Perhaps that is why He did He could show us how much he understands in those moments when we shake our fist at the sky.

    This all is, I suppose, the very essence of the value of faith. Through faith we can grow because we know all experience is of value to us.

    The point, in the end, may not in fact be that we reacted well or not. It might be just that we endured to the end, always trying, striving to improve each our attempt to live up to the divine potential within each one of us.
    Posted 09-09-2010 at 07:59 PM by Jeff Westover Jeff Westover is online now

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