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Welcome to our newest member, PrincipalPankley
My name is Ron, I am a Christmas nut always have been always will be. I am first and foremost a stay at home dad that has an evening job at a retail/grocery establishment. After my second son was born I stepped down from my management position, so my wife and I don't have to pay for daycare. My wife is a teacher in the town we live, so people recognize us everywhere in our little town.
My wife and I have been married for 9 years. We have 2 boys aged 6 and 3, both are young Christmas nuts.

I have loved Christmas as long as I remember
from seeing the lights on all the houses, to seeing if I could stay awake to see Santa.
Christmas has been the one constant in my life it has always been there for me, through the rough times of my parents divorce when I was 10 y/o or my mother's passing when I was 16.
Everyone always tried to make it something special for myself and sister when we were young no matter what was going on. I now believe that is why I love this time of year more than any other because of the efforts of my family to hold it above any other time of year. I get to make the season special for my boys now, whether it be by playing the music decorating the house and yard or just playing the dvd's. The memories the season has brought have always warm and it is no wonder why I look forward to making more of these memories every year. My favorite Christmas movie is A Christmas Story my favorite Christmas song is O Holy Night. My favorite Christmas artist is Bing Crosby.
Well if I ran on a little bit I am sorry I am new to blogging, it sounds always better in your mind.
I will try to keep posting and making it interesting for all who read.
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Embracing My Youth

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Posted 01-01-2012 at 08:21 PM by xmas365
Tags my life

I sit here tonight about to post the toughest blog post I have ever had to write. I have thought long and hard about this and I believe it is time to explain where I have come from on life's road.

I was a happy, exploring kid growing up in the familiar setting of mom, dad, sister, the perfect nuclear family. I grew up the 9 out of my first 10 years in the town where I live now, life was great, mom home during the week, dad home on the weekend while mom was an RN at the hospital in the next town over. My world crashed when my parents announced to us they were getting a divorce while we were driving my mother to work. I still remember being in the middle of the town of Palmer, MA driving by the old store Building 419, I remember bawling my eyes out, not knowing what was really going on as I was 9 years old and about to become a statistic of child with a single parent. The divorce became messy, and we always had an array of different people watching us, after the divorce was final my mother became a hermit in her bedroom basically leaving a 9-10 year old boy and my 6-7 year old sister fending for ourselves every night. I struggled in school, as I happened to cry quite a bit in school, which was hard for me considering I was more of a clown before my family world ended. Now is the part that is really hard for me to write, only a handful of people in this world know of this as I have only told my 2 ex-girlfriends and my wife of this, my in-laws don't even know this about me. My mother in the mean time started dating one of her patients from the hospital, the only thing is it wasn't a man, my mother in the mean time discovered she was gay, talk about dropping a bombshell on a ten year old kid in the early-mid 1980's I did not understand what was going on, why was my mom not dating men? Is this normal? I was lost for years because of this, as this person started living with us and whenever anyone discovered that "secret" we moved. From Autumn 1985-March 1991 I moved to 6 different towns or cities in central and western Massachusetts. That is the reason right there why I am so shy, I hated my nomadic lifestyle, I wanted to die, and there were many times I thought of ending my life as I had no friends, a family life that sucked as we lost our mother to this new person, and when things started getting better, it changed again when my mother started getting extremely religious and started forcing us to go to a Born Again Christian church where services usually went 3-4 hours every Sunday. That is one reason why I am not very religious now, I believe in God, Jesus, and that he died for our sins, but I just have a very hard time with organized religion, I am a Christian but I just have a very hard time actually going to a church now. I was 12 years old at this time, it was July 1987, I don't remember what I said or what I did, but we were unofficially living with a church member and I just remember running from my mother and her partner I got trapped in the corner and I just remember sitting there getting slapped on one side of the face by my mother, and the other side of my face by her partner, I do remember screaming out "I want to live with dad! I want to live with dad!" They stopped and said that's what you want, we will drop you off. From then on I didn't talk to them until after they dropped me off, thinking my life would be better, but my parents got divorced due to my father's problems with alcohol and gambling, and my life was just going to get worse at this point due to the fact my stepmother and step sister were just what you'd think...evil! 2 years of my life were living with them, I remember being happiest when the Bengals were on the way to Super Bowl 23, but besides that my dad was never around, I was stuck with my stepmother and stepsister, everything was always my fault, I hated it there, once again I just wanted to die, having 2 parents that didn't seem to want me, no friends, what was there to live for, I don't remember now, but I am still here. My father soon was heading to court because my stepmother was leaving him and moving back to Indiana, and he was going to follow her, I didn't want to go with him, with that evil B! So back to my mother I went, things had changed after I moved back, my mother and her partner welcomed me back and realized their mistake and actually paid attention to us. But once again, darkness was moving in as we were welcoming in the 1990's my mother, her partner and a few of their friends, were praying in the New Year, my sister and I heard them praying "Lord, please let that lump Nancy discovered be nothing." That is the way we learned there may be a cancer issue. The next year, there were lots of hospital visits, a mastectomy, and recovery, things were looking up and then, out of the blue, my mom could barely walk, as she was minister at this time she had full faith in God, and she actually made a trip to Florida in her condition to see one of those TV preachers that always begged for money, she thought he was going to heal her. At this point the cancer was back and it had spread to her spine, less than 2 months later she was gone. Once again, I was an "orphan" but this time my sister was there also. We went to live with my Aunt and Uncle, it was okay for a while until my Uncle started making me mow the lawn, clean the pool so on and on. He had his 2 sons who were 1 and 2 years older than me but I was the labor, and then my uncle didn't want me living there, and he basically went behind my back and contacted my grandparents and came back and told me I was to move in with them. I was so beaten down by life at this time, barely 17 years old, too shy to make friends, family that always seemed to hate me, I felt like I was some sort of experiment to see how much pain you could put a child/teen through, my life sucked I hated school, I hated life, I was going from a house where I was doing most of the yardwork and going to my senior citizen grandparents where I felt like I was going to be a burden on them. It seemed I was burden on everyone else where I lived, I don't know how I didn't end my life at that point.
Moving in with my grandparents was the BEST thing that ever happened to me, they taught me what real love is, and to see 2 people love each other as much as they loved each other meant a lot to me and they had been together almost 50 years at that point. Things were turning around for me, I was making friends, I was going to college, I had a good job (in my mind anyway at that time) I was 19 I finally got my first kiss, things were turning out better. I went from 216lbs down to 165lbs and grew 2 more inches from age 18 to 20, when I entered high school I was not even 5ft tall, within 6 years I had grown over a foot to 6'1 I had confidence for the first time in my life I was asking girls for their phone numbers, it was very hard for me, I could hear my heart beating when I asked them. I was starting to get my wit back, my maniacal sense of humor was just starting to blossom, and I had just discovered the Beatles. Life was turning around for me, girls were noticing me all the time now, I enjoyed the attention, I was playing in a floor hockey league, I was finally dealt a winning hand for the first time since I was 9 years old. From that point on I had my share of friends, fun, girlfriends, then I met the love of my life while I was dating an ex-girlfriend, I knew she was the ONE the moment I met her, she was someone I had no shyness with, I could be myself, I felt so comfortable with her, it was amazing, that was 13 years ago now. We have been married for nearly ten years now, have 2 great boys, and a long life to look forward to with each other.
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  1. Old Comment
    lauriebear's Avatar
    Xmas what a great story, I mean it, I know living it was not good, believe me I know, went through something similar. It is wonderful that you shared this, it is wonderful that you finally found a rock it that storm (your grandparents).

    I am so happy you are creating the direct opposite for your family.

    I love reading your blog and about your history and your family keep it up you are a great writer.
    Posted 01-04-2012 at 08:53 AM by lauriebear lauriebear is offline
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