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Holding On To My Baby

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Posted 03-02-2013 at 10:18 AM by caninemom3
Updated 03-02-2013 at 07:27 PM by caninemom3

A lot of people know that I love animals. I have three canines and three felines who are the loves of my life. There is nothing to me like the love of my furchildren. They are always loving unconditionally and expect nothing in return other than the basics of food and some measure of love back, which is much different than most humans I have encountered.

One of my canines is named Wishbone. He is just a little guy, I call him my "little man." Wishbone is a mix of Miniature Pinscher and Dachshund. He has a little stump for a tail and he is black, or he was until he started getting old. His once shiny coat is now salt and pepper gray and his once all black face is now mostly white. He is 16-1/2 years old and has some health concerns. Wish has been at my side through the very worst of times and the very best. He has seen many other furchildren become ill and taken away never to return. He knows when I am sad, he knows when I need love, his gentle soul knows when I am need of the balm of his presence the most.

In May of 2011 Wish started having "episodes" of walking unsteadily and falling and severe agitation and quivering. He was still quite cognizant during these episodes and when the vet told me these were seizures I protested. I am not a doctor, it was just a gut feeling something else was causing the problem. I was right. An EKG was done and it turned out that Wish was having very slight abnormalities with his heart rhythm. He was immediately started on heart medications and had done fine ever since. This past December right before Christmas when I gave him his supper one evening he would not eat. Instead he turned his face away as though he wanted to eat but could not. I knew the problem. It was his kidneys. I have seen this turning away from food behavior and the unmistakable look of fear in his eyes too many times with other furchildren to not recognize it. We immediately rushed him to the doctor and he was admitted. His renal lab values were sky high. He was kept through Christmas with progress reports from the doctor throughout the Holiday. I was told he was responding very well to the treatment which included subcutaneous fluids daily and that he would be able to return home the day after Christmas. I was convinced I would never see him again.

The day after Christmas we went to pick him up and one of the techs showed me how to do the subcutaneous fluids that Wish needs every day of his life right here at home. I was uneasy about doing it myself but was adamant and steadfast that I was going to do this for him if it meant saving his life. I watched many videos on YouTube where the procedure is demonstrated and by the grace of God I have learned how to give Wish his fluids every day. He is such a brave little man that every day at around 3 in the afternoon he marches himself to the bathroom and waits there patiently for me as if to say "Mom, can I have my shot and then my supper ?" He patiently lets me insert the needle and waits until it is time to take it out each day because he knows he will have his supper after this !

To my surprise he is doing very well with the therapy. It is not cheap but I don't care. One bag of fluid last for just five days and is $20.00. He must also have a powder that binds the phosphates placed on his food each time before he eats. He also requires heart medications. I would give everything I own if necessary to afford these supples for my Wish.

He came into my room today while I was working. He often does and I can hear him coming. He just has a sound that is all his own. I noted that he seemed particularly cold this morning. He was shaking so badly that I stopped working and took him up on my lap for a few moments. I always wear a thick bathrobe while I am working so I confess I am a bit oblivious to the temperature in the house. I cradled Wish like a baby and wrapped him inside my robe and gently stroked his face and head and talked to him gently. His little brown eyes seemed to pour forth hearts from them for me and he stopped shaking. I kept him bundled up and typed with him there in my robe for a good period of time until he decided he wanted down.

Looking into his eyes reveals to me that yes, he as well as all furchildren do have a soul, a very innocent and untainted soul. When I ponder what I see I am positive I am in the presence of God's angels. Angels who are here to watch over us.

I know that Wish may not have many days left with me. I am grateful for the time I have been given with him. I will have a hole in my very being when he is no more with me in this physical life and I will have a hard time continuing on without him.

I know though that he is NOT JUST A DOG. No furchild or furless child is "just a whatever" be it cat, donkey, turtle, bird, etc. They are all souls and are here to enhance our being and to make our journey to beyond filled with more love than we could ever possibly understand.
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  1. Old Comment
    snowflake22's Avatar
    <3 Beautiful, CM3!! <3
    Posted 03-02-2013 at 05:06 PM by snowflake22 snowflake22 is online now
  2. Old Comment
    Maureen's Avatar
    If it weren't for your love, compassion and general existence this little guy wouldn't be here for you to be talking about him in the present tense. Of course he has a soul; anything capable of feeling love has a soul and, as we know, dogs love unconditionally so, if anything, their souls must be bigger than ours. He's one lucky pup to have you for a mom xx
    Posted 03-09-2013 at 04:26 AM by Maureen Maureen is offline

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