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Melancholia

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Posted 08-11-2010 at 08:30 PM by caninemom3
Tags brother

I did not think I would feel like this tonight. For most people August 11 is just the day before August 12 and August 12 is just another day. For me, however, August 12 is the commemoration of the death of my big brother, Andy, the brother I was closest to. I have posted in another blog about Andy and August 12 so I do not want to be repetitious here. My mood and emotions are dark this evening, darker than indigo. Why does it still hurt so much ?? I would have thought that after this long I would "get over" it. That is not the case. It is all still quite vivid to me and it hurts. As it was told to the family Andy had died sometime between 2 and 3 in the afternoon that day but the family did not find out about it until evening time because law enforcement could not decide whose jurisdiction it was. Ridiculous !!

Andy, you are supposed to be here. The pain of being without you and your friendship is paralyzing and excruciating at the same time. What I would give to see your face again, talk to you, even just share a meal together. The one comfort I have is that even though Andy was not a church going person, he did believe and I know that Heaven got sunshine itself when Andy appeared at the Pearly Gates. Perhaps even our Lord himself smiled as He saw Andy enter Heaven. Godspeed my dear big brother, Godspeed. Your little sister still loves you and misses you as much as ever xo
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Christmas-A-Holic's Avatar
    There is no such thing as "getting over it". It's normal to feel great sadness for the ones you love. I pray that God eases your pain. ((((hugs))))
    Posted 08-11-2010 at 09:12 PM by Christmas-A-Holic Christmas-A-Holic is offline
  2. Old Comment
    xmas365's Avatar
    I am so sorry Louanne, I know how that pain comes back on the day of painful anniversaries I go through it every March on the anniversary of my mothers passing. The heartache of loss and the memories that should have been always get me. We are here for you.

    Ron
    Posted 08-11-2010 at 09:27 PM by xmas365 xmas365 is offline
  3. Old Comment
    TamaraQT's Avatar
    I dont believe anyone should be expected to "get over it". You deal with your grief and loss in your own way. The loss of a loved one is very difficult as I have learned through losses of my loved ones. It helps to know that others care. Since I have been here on MMC and TC, you have been such a positive person. You always have nice things to say and you seem so thoughtful and caring. I say this because, I want you to realize that the loss of your brother has not taken away your ability to bring joy to others. Because of your loss, you realize how precious people are. And that is a wonderful characteristic to have. I appreciate you and the joy you spread.
    Posted 08-12-2010 at 06:24 AM by TamaraQT TamaraQT is offline
  4. Old Comment
    ChristmasHeart's Avatar
    God be with you, Louanne. My heart and prayers go out to you! (((((HUGS)))))))!! xo
    Posted 08-12-2010 at 05:14 PM by ChristmasHeart ChristmasHeart is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Jeff Westover's Avatar
    What you feel is just an extension of the love you have for your brother. I pray you someday can lose the dark edge to those feelings and replace them instead with the hope that a sweet reunion awaits you both when you reach the other side.
    Posted 08-13-2010 at 08:16 AM by Jeff Westover Jeff Westover is online now
 



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