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Just Another Day

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Posted 09-11-2010 at 07:32 PM by caninemom3
Tags eeyore

I must be the weirdest person on the face of this earth. It is still September 11 and my birthday is tomorrow, September 12, which is making me quite sad. I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced feelings like this. I don't know why I am so sad. It is not that I expected a big party with lots of gifts, etc. I pretty much already knew/know how my birthday will go. My dear sister came to visit me today, Saturday, and we went to lunch and such. But that is going to be about it. Tomorrow I work so the celbration is already over. I don't know, maybe I just have the sulks.

I always seem to have such a glum outlook on things. Though I am quite blessed, I tend to focus not on all the good things in my life but instead on the bad things. For me it is much easier to be sad than happy at least these days. I have always been like this to a degree and even more so as I am getting closer to the end of my 50s.

I do recall a time though when David was still here that I bordered on happy even on my birthday.

What did I/Do expect for my birthday ?? To feel appreciated. To feel affection. To feel like I MATTER. To have a fuss made over ME.

My husband did get me flowers and a card LAST weekend even though he knows my birthday is this weekend. Guess he just wanted to get it out of the way and not be bothered. My stepchildren never remember that it is my birthday even though it is me every year who makes sure theirs are not forgotten. But that is okay also.

So another year perhaps is beginning. Another year of struggling financially, emotionally. And another year of getting more and more tired and I do not mean just physically tired.

I know everyone has done their best for my "special day" this year and I feel like I am being an ingrate.

Tonight if any night, I am Eeyore's twin. If you happen to find my perpetually lost blue tail, I would sure appreciate it if I can have it back. Maybe you could give it to me as a birthday gift.
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  1. Old Comment
    xmas365's Avatar

    As I have said in the past you are a wonderful person, and I am sure everyone does appreciate you, unfortunately maybe they don't know how to show it or they may think you know they do.
    I hope your birthday was a good one though, just know this site would not be the same without you, I look forward to reading your posts, the visitor messages you send me, as you have been a great friend here for me, and if I may say I may have located your tail in a sense, it is this site and the people you have touched being a part of this great site. You are always one of the first with a kind word, and a quick witty reply to a wise comment, you have a great love of music very eclectic. You truly care about everybody and it shows. YOU are appreciated not only by me, but I am sure most on this site.

    Posted 09-13-2010 at 10:06 AM by xmas365 xmas365 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    ChristmasHeart's Avatar
    I'm so sorry I missed your blog the other day! Well I'm here now and will say that I agree with would NOT be the same here without you! You do so much for so many people - and you don't even know it.

    I appreciate you...YOU MATTER SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! To me...and so many others, my dear friend!

    If I were there with you right now...I'd be giving you GINOURMOUS birthday ((((((((HUGS)))))))!
    Posted 09-14-2010 at 12:00 PM by ChristmasHeart ChristmasHeart is offline

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