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An Insomniac Diary Part I

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Posted 01-25-2011 at 11:07 PM by caninemom3
Tags hope, jobs

It is 12:49 a.m. here. My furchildren are all asleep and so is my husband yet here I am awake. Tired, exhausted and utterly awake. I have given my 2 week notice at my current job and have another job I start next week. I am a medical transcriptionist and I have worked at home for 3-1/2 years with the same company. I will be continuing to work at home but with a new company and the new job is night shift. It should work well in that regard as I am awake so much at night when I should be sleeping.

What is it about changing jobs that is such a big deal ?? I guess that depends on each person to an extent. I know the obvious reasons for me are what if it doesn't work out ? What if I am even more out of work than before ? What if I get "sucky" accounts ? What if ??

All I really know for certain is that I have had to muster up all the courage I can and pray for guidance so that I can leave my present position. We don't get anywhere in this life without taking risks. I certainly am not getting anywhere at my present company. So a change had to be made.

At first I am going to have to work a few day shifts until I get trained. I hope it doesn't take too long as training is at minimum wage and I am not sure what that is for Ohio but I know it is not a lot.

I know if I can persevere eventually it will all be worth it when I am being paid by the line again at 9 cents per line. For someone not familiar with how transcriptionist pay works, I can tell you 9 cents per line is pretty good.

Tonight my age is upon me. The discs in my neck are killing me, my shoulders hurt, in fact I don't think there is one single joint or digit that does not hurt tonight.

I wish I could see a day coming when I no longer had to work but I don't see one. Not now or in the distant or far away future. I know I am not alone. There are a lot of people like me. I was just hoping that by some chance, some miracle life would be happy again someday without having to worry constantly about money, jobs, etc., etc.

I must confess the last time I felt really, really happy was in 1991. David was alive and we had only been living in this house a year. Those were halcyon days indeed. When David died it is really true, a good portion of me died too.

I haven't given up hope. I mean in the bible Job lost EVERYTHING and yet through it all God never left him. He even restored Job's fortune and happiness.

If happiness can come back to Job, it can come back to me. Someday.
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Views 1602 Comments 3
Total Comments 3


  1. Old Comment
    gabulldawg's Avatar
    Great read! good luck on your new job,I'm sure it will work out but in the meantime try not to worry too much,and like you I worry alot too,and so I know that is easier said than done!
    Posted 01-26-2011 at 05:16 AM by gabulldawg gabulldawg is offline
    Updated 01-26-2011 at 05:17 AM by gabulldawg (error)
  2. Old Comment
    xmas365's Avatar
    I know it is stressful to change jobs, and for someone who is shy and anxious it is really tough. You will do a great job I am sure of that. Everything will work out, remember everything happens for a reason.
    Posted 01-26-2011 at 07:27 AM by xmas365 xmas365 is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Storeytime's Avatar
    I'm praying for peace and provision in your life. I don't know if you have chronic insomnia or not, but I do. My life was one long life of failure until I got help. I would go from job to job because I couldn't sleep, therefore I couldn't function in a job. I went to a sleep clinic and take medication to help me sleep every night. It dramatically changed my life. I didn't go for years because I didn't want to get "hooked" on some kind of drug. Now I realize how silly that was. People have to take medication everyday for all kind of reasons. I hope this may help in some kind of way. Hang in there and give it all to God.
    Posted 02-05-2011 at 11:49 PM by Storeytime Storeytime is offline

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