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Old

My Battle With Anxiety

Posted 08-18-2010 at 10:57 PM by xmas365 (Christmas, Life, and Family)

This weekend while we were enjoying our time away, an old nemesis found its way back into my life with a vengeance. It had not reared its ugly head for quite awhile, and I thought it was under control since I am on medication for it now and have been for the last 5-6 months. The culprit is anxiety, or more appropriately put anxiety attack or panic attack. We were about to have lunch at an extremely busy food court, we just found a table and we were about to order and I just froze, I could not move, think clearly, or even figure out what to do next. My wife was egging me to go order and I could not do it, she didn't realize what was going on and at that moment I couldn't even tell her, she started getting upset with me and I was finally was able to tell her I was having an anxiety attack, she was able to convince me to get outside and I instantly started feeling better. It is such a scary feeling feeling like that, when your chest feels like it is getting squeezed in a vice and it gets...
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Christmas dreaming...
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Old

50 Christmases

Posted 08-13-2010 at 08:42 AM by Jeff Westover (A Merry Blog)
Updated 08-23-2010 at 09:45 PM by Jeff Westover



Last week we celebrated the 50th anniversary of my Mom and Dad. They never had a wedding. So my siblings and I got together to throw them a party, complete with cutting a cake.

It was a big deal, especially since my Mom suffered two strokes in May. There was considerable doubt as to whether we should even try to hold such an event but the doctor insisted that we go for it. "Your mom needs to have something to look forward to and it will help her meet her rehab goals", he told us.

Indeed, he was correct. In the last few weeks before the party Mom made significant progress.

Her strokes were did not leave her conventionally disabled. Most stroke victims show left side weakness or paralysis but Mom's was particularly cruel in that it affected the parts of her brain that control memory and personality.

We quite honestly were grieving in May, thinking Mom might not...
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Old

The Red Jacket

Posted 08-12-2010 at 10:32 PM by xmas365 (Christmas, Life, and Family)

When I was younger watching The Santa Clause for the first few times I always thought, how cool would that be to become Santa and live the life of fantasy and be able to bring joy to the world over. I would have given up everything much like Scott Calvin did to become the big guy. Now as they say wisdom comes with age, I look at the blessings in my life and would I really want to give up all I have to become the big guy. I can only imagine the feelings of joy brought on by being Santa Claus, but the reason in me now makes me think what a lonely life that might be, no family around, yeah sure you would have the elves but it is not like having your family. In my life the decisions I have made have made me into the man I am today, and if I could make some decisions over I would do probably do some different, but most I would do the same over and over. Scott Calvin made his decision by putting on the red jacket, it took over his life for better or worse, making him leave his old life behind....
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Christmas dreaming...
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Old

Melancholia

Posted 08-11-2010 at 08:30 PM by caninemom3
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I did not think I would feel like this tonight. For most people August 11 is just the day before August 12 and August 12 is just another day. For me, however, August 12 is the commemoration of the death of my big brother, Andy, the brother I was closest to. I have posted in another blog about Andy and August 12 so I do not want to be repetitious here. My mood and emotions are dark this evening, darker than indigo. Why does it still hurt so much ?? I would have thought that after this long I would "get over" it. That is not the case. It is all still quite vivid to me and it hurts. As it was told to the family Andy had died sometime between 2 and 3 in the afternoon that day but the family did not find out about it until evening time because law enforcement could not decide whose jurisdiction it was. Ridiculous !!

Andy, you are supposed to be here. The pain of being without you and your friendship is paralyzing and excruciating at the same time. What I would give...
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Old

I've been away for a while...

Posted 08-10-2010 at 07:56 AM by lauriebear777

Hello everyone, I have been gone for a while, just life getting the best of me I guess... No excuse, but I am so happy I logged on again, it made me feel so happy just to see all of the posts and games going on, it reminds me that the world is a WONDERFUL place and I am so lucky to be a part of it all!!!:snowball:
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