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Old

Here Come The Demons

Posted 12-26-2012 at 04:56 AM by caninemom3
Updated 12-26-2012 at 05:16 AM by caninemom3

Christmas is once again over. The build-up was as amazing as ever. On Thanksgiving I put up the tree and we had our traditional Thanksgiving feast, my husband and I and our furkids. On December 1, brimming with excitement as it was both my sister's birthday AND the day she and I put up her tree, I went to my sister's home for the coming celebrations of the day.

When my sister and I are together we are like little kids, both completely oblivious to what is going on around and just focused on each other and our own world. We "ooh and ah" at lights, decorations, carols, and everything at Christmastime. It was an amazing day. Later in the afternoon on December 1 my dear brother-in-law, who is really more of a brother than anything, took us to dinner, which is a custom when I go to their house to help decorate. Then back again to their house for more sister fun. When we were finished we stood back and looked very proudly at the beautiful tree we created and congratulated...
MMC Christmas Angel (1954 - 2013)
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Views 1080 Comments 3 caninemom3 is offline
Old

To Be Yourself Is Beautiful...

Posted 05-10-2012 at 09:46 PM by xmas365 (Christmas, Life, and Family)

As some of you have noticed I have a new quote on my signature for the forums. It is kind of a funny sounding quote, but it has struck a nerve with me as I have thought about it. I have recently discovered it in a cool sounding song called "The Feathered Tiger" it is a lyric toward the end of the song about a feathered tiger and the people who try to cheer up the tiger are basically telling him to be himself.

I have recently decided to be 100% me all the time, as a way to fight this anxiety I deal with. I wrote earlier this year on how I want to defeat my anxiety, and I feel this is the best way to do just that. I have struggled being me from time to time, I always thought of myself as not to good looking, not good enough, a boring person who cannot make small talk, etc... I have friends at work who have shown me I am good enough, and with that I have more confidence than I have had in many years. If I don't mention my wife here it would be wrong of me, as she...
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Christmas dreaming...
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Views 1691 Comments 4 xmas365 is online now
Old

Exhaustion

Posted 03-26-2012 at 09:20 PM by caninemom3

It is a Monday evening and I am sitting by the fireplace with a fire nicely warming my corner of the living room. My canine kids are all asleep. My 5-1/2 year old, Clancy, is asleep beside me. My 4-month-old baby, Hermione is asleep on the other couch and my dear sweet old man of 15, Wishbone is asleep on the foot stool nuzzled up against my feet and here I sit completely and utterly exhausted yet wide awake.

There are so many reasons why I feel this way I think. One reason is my current job. I have been a transcriptionist for nearly 18 years and no job has ever made me so tired as the one I have now. I just can''t figure out why I am reacting this way. This is just doing the same thing I have done for nearly two decades but never have I ever been so out of it by the time I finish my shift. I just dont get it. I honestly feel this job is killing me, yet I cant give it up. The money is too good.

I have been thinking so much lately about things I have no control...
MMC Christmas Angel (1954 - 2013)
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Views 944 Comments 0 caninemom3 is offline
Old

Battling Shyness & Anxiety Through My Eyes

Posted 01-16-2012 at 01:25 PM by xmas365 (Christmas, Life, and Family)

As most of you know I fight through bouts of shyness and anxiety, as my fight against those problems for 2012 is still in its infancy I thought it would be a good idea to explain the things I go through in depth, so here it goes.

1. Over thinking/over critiquing: As in every little thing I do or think. There is not a day that ges by where I have my head wrapped around a comment I say or post, that may be misconstrued as a rude comment, or insensitive comment. The friends I make I always worry that I am too quiet, or I don't make sense on the comments I make. It's a tough situation for me to deal with the things that swirl around in my brain, and have always found it easier to write my thoughts down, when I was dating my wife I wrote constantly, notes, poems, my confused thoughts in a notebook. It was always a struggle but it worked for me.

2. People laughing: Being someone who went to 6 different schools in 6 years, I had trouble making friends and was constantly...
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Christmas dreaming...
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Views 2273 Comments 3 xmas365 is online now
Old

Anxious, Shmanxious

Posted 12-23-2011 at 04:19 AM by xmas365 (Christmas, Life, and Family)

I have been awake for nearly 2 hours, Christmas is less than 2 days away, surgery 7 hours away. My anxiety and nerves are kicked into high gear right now, so much to do and I will be incapacitated for much of the next 2 days. I average 5-6 hours of sleep a night, I went to sleep around 11:30 last night not feeling anxious or nervous or stressed out. I woke up before 4am and just laid in bed, feeling a cat walk on me to find a comfortable spot to rest, I tried to get back to sleep to no avail, the surgery, my associates at work, and the responsibilities I left them, and the general and not so general events of the last few weeks weighing heavily in my mind I decided to get up and put on Santa Claus The Movie and surf the web, always coming back to home MMC. I think I even heard a bird knock on the window around 4:45 and say "What the heck are you doing up this early?" As we brace for the last 42 hours until Santa comes, we have to finish cleaning, finish wrapping presents, start...
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Christmas dreaming...
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Views 1351 Comments 2 xmas365 is online now



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